Its almost my birthday. I'll be 20. I know to most of the people on here, that's still really young and I still don't know what I want. I've been really unhappy this past week. I haven't said anything to anyone.. besides my boyfriend Ben. My best friend Candice wanted to throw me a beach bbq this year, but ever since I told everyone about it, it seemed like most weren't going to make it, so about a day or two later I canceled it. For the past two birthdays, Candice has always went out of her way to make be really happy on my birthday, but this year- its not like I don't want her throwing me anything, its just I didn't want her idea to be wasted because no one couldn't show up.She told me that we could do it the sunday after, so I said that was great. I still don't know what I'll do for my birthday. Maybe a dinner out or maybe I'll just stay in and not go anywhere, but I'm not sure yet. But we'll see what happens on Monday, since I'll be turning 20 that day anyways.

Currently listening to this Linda Chung song: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YF-v_9CECYI

Its been three months since I updated my weblog, but its okay. I've recently had a couple of rough days, but doesn't everyone? I'm just hoping it'll get better. Been finding lots and lots of new songs, so that'll keep me sane for awhile. I've ran into some problems here and there these past few days, but its nothing I can't handle. Granted I'm staying up late and sleeping in doesn't make things better because all I do is think and cry from time to time. I know I did that last night.. but after I dragged my ass out of my bathroom I was beyond exhausted. Lately I have the habit of turning off my phone because I didn't want anyone bothering me. Lately it seems like whoever isn't my boyfriend who talks to me, ends up putting me in a bad mood or causes me to cry, or end up doing both. I don't eat until almost in the evening like around 4 or 5 pm, which people keep on telling me that its not healthy. But I do wonder, if you piss someone off and make them cry, what makes anyone think that I would want to eat? But on the brighter side my birthday is coming up soon, so hopefully I'll be okay by then. I just gotta learn not to expect a lot from anyone anymore, because me expecting things just turns out for the worse. But I guess I don't learn now do I?

Last night I had a good night in some ways. I hung out with my friend Jeff and my little sister. I haven't hung out with him in ages, since he had to work long hours for this upcoming audit at his job. He came by, picked us up and then we went to go get some food because we were hungry as hell lol. So then we headed to his house with a bagful of McDonalds, cuz Jeff said cheap so we picked fast food lol. We ate when we got there and watched Mamma Mia, and I fucking love that movie. It has most of the ABBA songs, and I haven't heard ABBA in years. When I was little, I used to listen to old classics and ABBA was one of them. I'm in love with the movie!! Lol. After the movie, Jeff had figured something out, cuz he said I'm not that hard to read, and we sat there and I talked to him. We were hungry on the way home, but most of the damn fast foods were closed at 2 in the morning, so we went to Dunkin Donuts, and then he dropped me and Linda home. I was happy that I had got something out of system and besides Ben, Jeff is the next person nowadays that I can vent to without having any problems. Jeff's a great guy, and we've been friends for about a year now. He says I grow on people like a fungus. Ass. Lol. But I was happy that I got to hang out and watch such a great movie. I needed this kind of happiness around me when all I do is work and so does Ben. And considering Ben is like 12 hours away..-sigh- I miss him.. Plus I start my online classes soon, and I'm working 32 hours this week. I know people work more hours then me, but I'm only part time at Publix, which is good enough for me.
Well at any rate, I'm going to go. Maybe go find some food, lay in bed, either watch Bao Cong, or read my Artemis Fowl books and listen to the Mamma Mia soundtrack which Jeff burned for me and Linda.


Bye guys. <3